100 Disturbing Ezra Facts

Stolen from GO READ HER ANSWERS AND DO THIS THANG FOR YOURSELVES

Section 1- The Basics

1. My name is Ezra. Yo.

2. I was born in the mid 80's, so I'm old as shit compared to most of you.

3. I've lived all over the great "fly over state" Indiana. 

4. I'm half Hispanic and half Irish, with all of the associated negative genetic problems.

5. I grew up hella poor so I usually pinch every penny like I'm living in the next Great Depression.

6. I grew up as an only child. It gifted me some excellent debilitating social issues!

7. I grew up under a hyper religious, ultra conservative household.

8. I hated school so much and didn't give a shit about anything until my Junior year of high school. I was a reeeeeal piece of shit.

9. My life did a 180° in college and I changed into the beautiful butterfly the goofy fart you all know today.

10. Ever since college, my daily planner stays by my side. Thankfully, my planner is on my phone now. I always keep very busy!

11. I'm a design mechanical engineer, which is just a glorified graphic designer who sometimes builds shit. I've worked with my current employer for almost 8 years.

12. I do lots of graphic design work as a freelancer but it's usually for friends and family. Right now I'm juggling two projects on top of my job.

13. I drive a Toyota Matrix XR with a fancy body kit that was on the car when I bought it. Turds think I'm some sort of street racer and will attempt to race me at stoplights. I laugh every time it happens cause I don't give one iota of a fuck about racing.

14. I am 5' 6" and have annoyingly broad shoulders. Every suit and blazer I have needs to be custom tailored.

15. I've had glasses since I was a little kiddo, and my eyes were so bad back then, I wore bifocals until I was 26. For those not in the know, those are typically glasses for old farts.

16. I have black hair, but when my hair is in the sunlight, it is very red. My facial hair is dominantly dark red.

17. I've had crazy bad anxiety issues my whole life and I've had numerous panic attacks since 2007.

18. I love my parents but I can't stand being around them longer than 24 hours. Around hour 25, my eyes roll to the back of my head and I fall into a cringe induced coma.

19. I have two cats named Tristan and Isolde; Tristan a loving Fatty Fat McFatterson and Isolde is tiny, mean asshole who hates everyone but me.

20. I met my wife in 2008 and we married in 2011 at the Indianapolis Museum of Art.

Section 2- Likes/Dislikes

21. I drink a stupid amount of coffee, which my doctor hates because it makes my anxiety issues worse.

22. I'm a foodie and I love going out to unique restaurants.

23. I love traveling and flying in airplanes.

24. My favorite colors are turquoise and purple.

25. My Spotify account is my life saver at work and on my commute.

26. I'm a dog AND cat person.

27. Autumn is my favorite season.

28. Halloween is my favorite time of year. (is Halloween technically a holiday?)

29. I like buying and mailing funny/seasonal cards to my friends.

30. I like fart jokes way more than I should at my age. I AM IMMATURE, YES YES.

31. I don't like peas. They send my ass to gag town.

32. I don't like spiders. I get that they are important, but fuck'em.

33. I don't like my smile cause my family could never afford good dental care.

34. I don't like most colognes; I'm very picky about what kind of cologne I will wear.

35. I have trypophobia, which isn't TECHNICALLY a phobia, but a distaste for seeing unnatural clusters of holes. BLEGH, gross.

36. I think feet are gross. My feet. Your feet. All feet. Sorry bout it~

37. I don't like sports but I'm in a fantasy football league. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.

38. I don't like racism, but I love making a mockery of it. Whenever my jackass friends say something stupidly racist like, "Mexicans, am I right?" I play along and say, "I know, right? Fuckin' fortune cookie mother fuckers need to pack up their shit and move back to Africa, take their CHING CHONG music back with'em." It's a great way to confuse their racist bullshit and move onto a new topic.

39. I don't like commercials. I wanted to get into advertising with ambitions to make commercials and marketing less annoying. Then I learned a major rule of advertising is to be specifically annoying and I said, "Fuck thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat."

40. I don't like ripe bananas. I usually eat them when they are still kinda green.

Section 3- Anime and Videogames

41. First things first, I love anime and videogames, but I rarely have time for either so I lack any anime/gaming knowledge past 2005.

42. My first anime was Sailor Moon and I developed a wicked bad crush on all of them (mostly Jupiter, though). My friends thought I was gay for watching a girl's cartoon, so I had to hide my love for the anime.

43. I watched Cowboy Bebop religiously in college and it was (and is) my favorite anime.

44. My family didn't have cable tv for a long time and we had a crappy antenna that could occasionally get Chicago channels late at night. On Saturday nights, one channel would barely come in and they showed anime or Godzilla movies. One night I managed to watch Vampire Hunter D on this channel and it was the first time I was both amazed and grossed out by anime.

45. I watched Grave of the Fireflies when I was really young and that shit destroyed me. It almost made me hate anime for a while.

46. When I was growing up, nobody in my tiny little farm town gave a shit about anime, so I felt like such a black sheep for liking "JAPANIMATION".

47. Ronin Warriors was a cartoon very similar to Sailor Moon and I tried so badly to get my friends to watch it. I loved it when I was a kiddo and I used to draw Ronin Warriors characters with Sailor Moon.

48. I would buy little pads of paper and make flip books of either Ronin Warriors or Sailor Moon characters doing thangs. I thought I was the coolest kid around for making them. And yes, I was brutally bullied for these.

49. When I hit puberty, I started noticing that anime could be perverted, so I started drawing naughty pics of Sailor Moon and kept them hidden in a trapper keeper under my bed. My mom found them and my parents threatened to send me to military school if I didn't straighten up. WORDS OF WISDOM, FOLKS. THE MORE YOU TRY TO REPRESS YOUR CHILDREN'S BEHAVIOR, THE MORE THEY WILL ACT TOWARD IT. Look at me now, mom and dad- I'm a regular hentai connoisseur.

50. I discovered hentai when I was at my friend's house on a dial up modem and he was showing me some dirty website he'd found. The advertisement on the page showed a naughty drawing of Sailor Moon and I lost my mind. I asked him to click on it and he was like, "Dude, these are just cartoons," and from that moment on, I hid my love for hentai/ecchi art cause I thought I was a freak for liking it.

51. I don't play most new video games. 90% of the new stuff completely disinterests me.

52. I want so badly to make my own old school RPG.

53. I hate arguing about video games and I think it's silly to be that upset over a medium of entertainment. I don't like Assassin's Creed games. If you do, that's fuckin' rad. But I think it's boring and it's hysterical how people will get angry about my opinion.

54. I will try any video game where I can customize my own characters.

55. I play my modded PSP more than anything else I own cause I have all of my favorite retro games on it.

56. I love fighting games so fucking much but I will not play against my friends. I hate competition. I also don't like playing against my friends in any other kind of game.

57. I still have my old NES hooked up to an old SDTV.

58. Pay-to-play video games are the unfortunate future for gaming and that doesn't interest me at all.

59. I really like old Mega Man and Mario Bros games. I also love the SNES and Playstation Final Fantasy games.

60. Re-iterating number 53, I dislike most gamers. Sorry guys. It's a fun hobby but most gamers ruin my passion for it.

Section 4- My Dark Side

61. I cut the "Do Not Remove" tags off of my mattress. Suck my dick, America.

62. I was an awful teenager who really crapped all over my parents. I don't know how they refrained from killing me in my sleep.

63. I have a weird relationship with alcohol and I've watched it destroy people very near and dear to me.

64. I tried running away from home when I was 8 or 9. I managed to climb out of my window and instantly regretted my decision, but I couldn't climb back up. I couldn't swallow my pride and just walk back into the house, so I waited for my parents to find me by the car. They. Were. Furious. 

65. I genuinely think I used to have an addiction to hentai/ecchi. I'm one of those people that literally favors anime porn over real porn.

66. My best friend and I once broke into my neighbors house when we were 13 to steal his collection of Playboy magazines. I wish I was kidding.

67. I went to jail for a night when Gamestop accused me of stealing from them because I returned a shit load of product for a fellow employee that was way past the return date. I thought I was helping and I broke the rules. DON'T FOLLOW MY FOOTSTEPS, PEOPLE. Follow the rules at work.

68. I worked at an adult store while I worked at Gamestop after college. The number of "dark" things I could put here is insane, but I had many weird, twisted, and unique experiences there.

69. <--- lololol, 69 still makes me laugh.

70. I had sex in a church once. If there is a hell, I am destined to go there.

71. I turned my back on religion for numerous reasons, mostly due to the people that attended my family's church. If you use your religion as some smug status symbol, then get fucked.

72. I used to have wicked bad road rage. I stopped that about a year ago because it's really not worth it. 

73. When I go to the bathroom, I sit on the toilet for way longer than I should and my legs usually fall asleep. (I'm running out of ideas for this category)

74. I was once part of a ghost hunting group when I was in college, but I don't really believe in paranormal stuff anymore. Still, there are some crazy stories from that time in life. 

75. I can't sleep at other people's houses, hotel beds, or even my parent's house. I am only comfortable in my own bed.

76. I despise 99% of sports. 

77. I don't like guns and I will never own one. (this is turning into a continuation of my "do not like" list)

78. I can't stand country music, but I get the appeal.

79. I do a lot of my DA and Skype chats while I'm at work. So I'm on the clock while I do this and that is very wrong of me. *continues list anyway*

80. When I'm in my car, I like to sing along with the music and when I don't know the lyrics, I usually make up disturbing lyrics about fucking, pooping, peeing, or fisting. I have problems.

Section 5- Random and Future Plans

81. I'm hoping to be a dad next year.

82. I lost a lot of weight over the last year and half but hit a plateau over the last five months. I want to hop back onto the weight loss train and get back to my college weight of 180. 20 more pounds to go!

83. I want to buy a new car very soon.

84. I want to get a golden retriever when I move into my house!

85. I want to make more time for my kisekae stuff.  

86. I want to draw more often.

87. I want to find a new job closer to home and spend an hour and half of my day EVERY DAY driving to and from work. 

88. I want to buy a PS4.

89. I want to get my high blood pressure under control for once in my life.

90. I want to make time to watch more anime or play video games. 

91. I want to help my parents pay off their house.

92. I want to make my own short RPG with my kisekae OCs. 

93. I want there to be a Kisekae Con where we can all meet up! We'd all end up in jail or burning the building down somehow.

94. I hope my parents stop facing health issues, because it seems like it never ends.

95. I hope I make a great father and, someday, a happy grandfather.

96. I hope the kisekae community never falls apart. 

97. I hope I become a better cook someday.

98. I want to visit Tokyo.

99. I want to visit Paris. 

100. I want this list to end cause I'm running out of ideeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas.